• dumbledore: slytherin wins the house cup.
• slytherin: WOO! VICTORY!
• dumbledore: haha wait I forgot, 100 points to harry potter for breathing.

Me whenever I come across a moderate inconvenience (via hurricaneheartbeat)

• Teen Jesus: I want to get into Quinn's pants.
• Sam: Have you considered becoming a lesbian?
• Teen Jesus: *le blank stare*
• Sam: She used to make me wear an animal sweater and a skirt, you could try that.

saddeer:

thank god for autocorrect 

without it i almost sent “ghjdsofszd” instead of “oinvdrsfeadjwskx”

how fucking embarrassing 

meatmodel:

procrastination ft. me and the internet

katiefuckingfitch-:

I wish I could discover half of the happiness that women in commercials find when they’re eating yogurt.